Peace

As many know for the last about eight months I have been seeing someone.  For the past couple months now I've been struggling with the relationship and having peace that what I was doing was what God wanted me to do.  Anytime I would think of it and think long term, I just could never see myself married.  It wasn't something I had peace about and constantly struggled with.

I have read several books my Elizabeth George and she always talks about the single women in them.  She always talk about how to apply what she has been talking about to people who are single.   Beautiful in God's Eyes by Elizabeth George talks about Proverbs 31.  I've always looked at that chapter as something that doesn't apply to me.  She opened my eyes to looking at that chapter in a whole new way when she states that the women the kings mother is describing to her son is a single woman who already posses those qualities.  Another book I read by Virginia Ruth Fugate talks about how Paul said that singleness is a special gift from God for certain people (I Cor. 7:7-8).  She goes on to give some short bits of advice and ends by stating to be content in whatever state you find yourself in (Phil 4:11b).

It was through a lot of prayer and support of friends, that I have come to realize that being single at this time is what God wants for me.  I fully believe that I can better serve him as a single lady then I could if I was married with children.  If I was married and had children, they would need to come first in my life.  Right now I can put my service first in my life.  I can devote my full time to my Sunday School class, my JOY Club kids and working in the church nursery and junior church.  I can use my time to help with the ladies group in my church and help in organizing events.  I can have the time to work in the outreach ministry.   I was feeling a heavy burden that I would need to give up several of those things if I were to marry as I more then likely wouldn't have the time to devote to them as I should.

Of course when I was little I dreamed of my wedding day and having my own family some day.  I've come to realize that this is not what is meant to be for me.  However, I do have the three best nephews any Auntie could ever ask for.  (I'm a little biased in that area!)  I currently have seven wonderful Sunday School students (who I love to spoil) and several JOY Club kids that I get to work with every week (and miss those that have moved on to the teen group!).  I realized the other day that I have worked with everyone at my church from age about 15 or 16 on down to the youngest ones.  

The decision I made to end the relationship is one that I have total and complete peace regarding.  I have  complete peace about remaining single.  I believe that is what God wants for me at this time in my life.  As Valentines Day approaches I want to remind myself on that day of the love that God has for me.  His taking away of my sins is the best action of love anyone has ever shown me or will ever show me.